Gina’s craigslisting frenzy has reached a new, feverish level on both listings and sales. Last night was spent sleeping on a box spring and mattress on the floor, surrounded by piles of formerly neatly housed but now somewhat rumpled and completely exposed clothing. Not a bed frame, nightstand, or dresser in sight. It’s as if she has turned back the hands of time to 1989, when I was fresh out of college, unemployed, and sleeping on a twin bunk bed with duffel bags for dresser drawers.

I now fear that nothing in the household – nothing still remaining at this point, that is – is off limits – including myself. I can picture her craigslist ad for me now:

Sweet Goofy Girl Needs Good Home

Downsizing and must move on out. Acquired used in 2005, but with all maintenance records. Minor scratches and dings but otherwise, in perfect running condition. Very reliable.

Key Features:

Computer savvy
Fun loving
Energetic
Well behaved
House trained

U-Haul. Cash only.

Strike that last part if she opts to list me under “Free”.