09 Sep 2011

Offenburg to Baden Baden (75 Km)

There’s something a little bit odd about this Baden Baden.  First of all, every bike sign pointing its direction appears to give misleading information.  We see a bike sign, take note of the distance yet to go to reach this Baden Baden, and, 25 minutes of pedaling later when we see the next bike sign, it indicates that we’ve ridden only one kilometer.  Now, we are certainly not the fastest cyclists on the road, and we do tend to dawdle over photos and pastry breaks, but one kilometer in 25 minutes and we haven’t even gotten ourselves off-route during that time?  Not possible.  And it’s not like the guy in the sign shop simply messed up his math on that one sign; it keeps happening over and over and over again.  It’s as if Baden Baden is the island in Lost and with each pedal of our cranks, we’re turning that giant donkey wheel, moving the island farther and farther away from us.  I hope my nose isn’t bleeding.  Weird.

Next, upon finally arriving on the outskirts of Baden Baden, our simultaneous first thought is “Ick, this is Baden Baden?”.  Where are the resorts?  Where are the spas?  Where is the elegance?  And where is that tent hammer, we might need to use it for protection.  Turns out all that stuff isn’t anywhere near the outskirts of Baden Baden but hidden deep inside the Oosbach River valley, another 6 kilometers up river (if THAT sign can be believed).  Our search for Baden Baden goes on.

Finally, we get a flavor of what the guidebooks all rave about, for here is a lovely park stretching along the river, meant for strolling and little else and I mean that literally – there are signs banning everything from spreading your picnic blanket to riding your bicycle to walking with one shoe untied.  This is a proper park from a proper time and proper manners must be displayed.  But it is quite lovely, as are the grand stately hotels on its banks.  We aren’t staying in any of those (ours is the room in town with bars on its one window, eliminating the need to keep our hammer handy) but they are pretty from the outside nonetheless.

So this Baden Baden has improved, but I still can’t quite shake the sense that there’s something unsettling about this town.  Maybe it’s the feeling that there’s a distinct line drawn between the Have’s and the Have Not’s, a line whose ink we smudged like wet paint and trailed along the bike path as we pedaled from the outskirts into town, a line that most tourists never see as they arrive in their insulated cars and buses, heading straight to the baths and casino.  Or maybe there are polar bears and a smoke monster lurking outside the old town center.  I dunno.  I just found the place to be a little strange.