19 August 2014
Fischbachau to Tegernsee, Germany (23 miles; Total = 846 miles)

When I get back to Seattle I’m going to audition for The Biggest Loser. I’ll definitely qualify, with all of the bier and cake I’ve been consuming. And I’ll have a solid advantage in the competitions, after spending yesterday and today pushing my 60+ pound bike up one dirt mountain after another. Those challenges of pulling sleds uphill, loaded with the weight I’ve lost, will be like child’s play for me. And by winning all of the challenges I’ll amass every extra pound advantage, guaranteeing me a spot in the finals. And when I win, I’ll thank Jillian and Germany for making my dreams come true.

This is what I’m thinking about out here in the rain, pushing my bike up the muddy trail. It’s better than other thoughts I could be having at this very moment that I actually am having but won’t air publicly here. Germany, you were once my best friend but now we seem to be going through a rough patch. You are challenging me with your weather and terrain and I am being ungrateful for the good times we’ve shared. I think it’s time we went to counseling. I’d say our first session here at this lakeside table on the Tegernsee is a good start.