Geneva, Switzerland to Seyssel, France
42 Miles, Ascending 2600 ft, Descending 3000 ft

I’ve been half-stung by a bee and fully-stung by a nettle, went full-rudder on a rocky single-track, pushed up a triple-chevron hill that turned out to be off-route, ate a 7-hours-old bread-meet-cheese sandwich on a bench in the middle of a corn field, and now my bum hurts. This can only mean one thing – it’s another birthday celebrated on a bicycle seat in Europe.

But truly, it’s been a wonderful way to spend my special day, beginning a short, self-guided cycling adventure from Geneva to Annecy, France. We were met this morning at our hotel by Bruno, a small and sprightly Frenchman who reviewed our itinerary with us, showed us how to use the GPS, and adjusted our saddle heights on our rented bicycles. These are Giant “Escape” hybrids, which seems like a perfectly named model for being on holiday.

Now, given that we are no longer able to follow Tour Leader Jen through the Alps and must instead rely on this GPS thingie, a technology that old-school-give-me-a-real-map me has zero experience with nor does I-just-missed-that-turn-on-a-big-downhill Gina, I think it’s only appropriate that we name our trusty GPS “Gertie” after Tour Leader Jen’s van. Gertie takes Jen places and we are hopeful that our Gertie will take us places as well. More specifically, to the right places, because it’s important to be specific. If she doesn’t, we’re in a world of hurt for the ‘real’ maps we are given are far too general to get us where we are supposed to be. And to be perfectly transparent, we don’t even know where we are supposed to be, having not paid any attention to this trip’s itinerary as we’re still processing the Mont Blanc. High class problems all around.

But Gertie does us right, even when we don’t believe her. For example, Gertie insisted that we travel a rocky single-track trail along the Rhone River. Oh Gertie, that can’t be right, we’re going to stick to this smoothly paved road. Oh Gertie, stop beeping at Gina, and stop insisting that we turn around. Okay Gertie, you are so stubborn, is there no way you can recalculate our route from the top of this impossibly steep hill? Okay Gertie, we give in and back down we go. Okay Gertie, we’ll squeeze through the blackberry vines and nettles and I’ll be damned Gertie, you were right, here we are back on route. From here on out, I think we’ll do what Gertie tells us.